Is looking after yourself selfish?

Did you know that our expectations of ourselves are often such an ingrained

habit we are unaware of the trouble they cause us?   

Taking the time to check in on our expectations of ourselves is not selfish.  This

process helps reduce unnecessary anxiety (fear of a future we can’t change yet) and

depressed mood (focusing on a past we can’t change).  It helps reduce

our negative emotions, so we are better at caring for ourselves and others. 

If you experience negative emotions or feel overwhelmed, it can be a sign that you

may have set expectations of yourself that are unrealistic.   

It is good self-care to set realistic expectations, adjust them when necessary and to

regularly check in on how we are going.  

You can ask yourself “Would I expect a good friend to be able to meet this

expectation?”  If the answer is no, then why would you expect more of yourself? 

Take care,  

Katrina Streatfeild MPsych(Coun) MAPS FCCOUNP FCCLP  

Counselling & Clinical Psychologist 

Practice Principal, Streatfeild & Co Psychology

Stress is a normal human emotion that everyone will experience at some point throughout their life.

In fact, our bodies are inherently programmed to experience stress and react accordingly. However,

how do we know when we are under too much stress?

The thing about stress (and anxiety), is that it manifests when we perceive something is

unpredictable, unfamiliar, or out of our control – which is tricky, when these situations arise

frequently throughout life.

Some symptoms to look out for include tightness in your chest (or increased heart rate), sleep

difficulties, fatigue, headaches, muscle tension, digestive issues, overthinking, worry, and irritability.

Luckily, there are many things we can do to manage stress in a healthy way. Some of these include

(but are not limited too): self-care – this can simply be a 10-minute ritual you engage in each day

(reading a book, sitting in the sun), exercising (such as a 20-minute walk), or talking to a

friend/colleague.

Remember, stress will eb and flow on any given day. Checking in with ourselves is a very useful tool

and once we acknowledge how we feel, the emotion is much easier to work through.

Take care,

Charlotte Martin MPPsych MAPS

Psychologist

Streatfeild & Co Psychology

Changing occupation can be very difficult transition to make and accept, especially after

many years in a job and having had a passion for what we do.

When an emotional connection is made to our professional role, it can blur the lines of what

is and isn’t part of our identity and how we see ourselves in the world. During occupational

change, you may experience feelings of loss or feel concern about how others perceive you

as you transition between or move into another role. Sometimes this transition can trigger

feelings of failure. This has been an unfortunate but common impact of COVID lock downs

and resulting job losses.

Fortunately, with effort and at times professional assistance, occupational transition can be

an opportunity for positive change. Useful transition strategies could include reminding

yourself that a job is not who you are as a person, to focus on finding the time for activities

you enjoy and keeping up positive social connections.

Matthew Clarke – Provisional Psychologist

Streatfeild & Co Psychology

Research shows that about 80% of us will not follow through with goals we set for ourselves. It can

be anything, a healthy diet, learning relaxation, reading more or cutting down on caffeine etc.

Studies on motivation indicate that it is the highest during the process of setting new goals but then

it drops dramatically and as a result we drop the ball altogether resorting to our old habits that we

desperately wanted to change. Why does that happen? The answer is in our brain. When we do

things over and over for a period of time, they become over-learned behaviours which require

minimal thinking. We do them automatically, so devouring a bag to crisps in the evening becomes

habituated just like brushing our teeth in the morning.

In order to break old habits and create new ones we need to stop, think about what we are doing and

connect with our values. Just ask yourself “What is important to me in this moment? Why should I

do it?”. Initially it will feel like we’re putting a lot of effort into new behaviours but over time it

will become a habit we won’t think much about, we will just do it.

Malwina Patton - MPsych Assoc MAPS

Streatfeild & Co Psychology

Changes in your sleep could be a sign of stress, anxiety, or depression.

Sleep is largely driven by our internal clock, called the circadian rhythm. This clock is

affected by external lights such as sunlight. Getting as much sunlight as possible in our eyes

and on our skin, not just our face, early in the morning, can help our internal clock get back

into a natural rhythm.

As light can make us feel wakeful, getting too much artificial light, especially blue light, late

at night can prevent us from feeling sleepy. This is because our internal clock naturally thinks

it is daytime if we are viewing blue light. Blue light is often found in phones and computers.

If you are having trouble falling asleep or staying asleep, make sure to turn your phone onto

night mode in settings.

For people who work with technology in the evening, blue light blocking glasses are an

alternative to help reduce blue light exposure. These can be found online or at an optometrist.

Take care,

Bridie McDougall, Provisional Psychologist

Streatfeild & Co Psychology

When your car breaks down you take it to a mechanic, when you break your arm you go to

the doctor. So, why is it when you are feeling sad, exhausted and unmotivated that you deal

with it on your own?

We are told that emotions are something we should be able to cope with or if you have

emotions you need to hide them, but pushing your emotions aside does not make them go

away. They become heavier and heavier until you are carrying so much on your shoulders

that small tasks become mountains.

Going to therapy is not a bad thing. You can seek help by talking to your GP and getting a

mental health care plan; using apps that promote help-seeking (eg. better help or calm); or

any call services such as beyond blue (1300 224 636), Mensline (1300 789 978), Parentline

(1300 30 1300), Family Relationship Advice Line (1800 050 321) and Kids Helpline (1800 551

800).

Take care,

Kaitlyn Attreed MPsych (General) MAPS

It’s quite common for people to feel low, anxious, and think negatively about

themselves. These thoughts are often a result of our experiences, and we usually find it

easier to focus in on the negatives than the positives.  

Take a moment to consider what benefit these negative self-views have provided you

with so far. Do they make you feel good? Probably not. Do they stop you doing things

you might otherwise enjoy? Maybe. Then why are we still doing it?

The thing is, we can’t change the past. However, we can change how we think about

ourselves at the current point in time.

It can be useful to take a moment to consider what we would say to a friend who was

standing in our shoes. This is because we tend to be a lot kinder to others and forget to

treat ourselves with the same love and compassion.

Some people might find it more practical to write a list of the things we do like about

ourselves. This might seem intimidating at first, however, there are lots of things we can

consider, including our values, behaviours, personality, appearance, achievements,

goals, and the list goes on. 

What other ways could you find to be kinder to yourself?

Stephanie Hawes BPsychSc(Hons), MProfPsych

Everybody experiences feelings of anxiousness or being worried about things. A

little anxiety is necessary as it motivates us to organise ourselves and worry helps us

try to problem solve anticipated negative events. But chronic worrying and feeling

anxious can be unhelpful, as it becomes extremely tiring, takes away from our

enjoyment of life and impacts our mental health. It is estimated that 1 in every 20

people experience significant worry and anxiety at some point in their lives.

What can we do to manage our worry?

·      Reduce our stressful life – stress is a big contributor to worry as it provides

things to worry about and often makes us think negatively

·      Be aware when our mind starts to wander – identify what is happening and find

an activity to engage in mindfully (e.g., exercise, meditation, a hobby)

·      Reach out for support – connecting with friends or family to talk through our

thoughts and feelings

Take care,

Sally O’Connor

Do you find yourself tired yet have trouble sleeping? Do you have hormonal health concerns

or difficulty concentrating?

One important way to improve our overall physical and mental health is with natural light.

Our circadian rhythm is our biological timing system, which is guided by the 24-hour solar

cycle. These cycles control the release times of important hormones such as melatonin,

serotonin, insulin, cortisol, thyroid hormone, and growth hormones. Sunlight exposure has

even been shown to predict height in adolescents!

Darkness is best at night to improve sleep, and artificial bright light in the evening can cause

disharmony for our biological timing. Exposure to sunlight during the day can improve

concentration, alertness, and calmness. Without enough sun exposure during the day,

serotonin levels can dip, which is associated with depression. Sun exposure is crucial to

produce Vitamin D, Vitamin B12, and reduces the risk of rheumatoid arthritis and other auto-

immune diseases. Sunlight is the best!

Take care,

Bridie McDougall, Psychologist